Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile
— Monty Python, “Medical Love Song”
Then I realized that poetry is the dreaded phone call at four o’clock in the morning. “Hey, mom . . . I’m drunk, and I just wrote this poem . . . about feelings.” People drink so they don’t have to write poetry, but then the words fall into place while washing dishes. I worked out a bio that reflected how The Dead Poets Society was so very unlike my own college experiences with poetry. You see, online student reviews about the professor who most inspired me include gems like, “Rude, messy, vulgar, egotistical and disorganized” and “This guy is insane. One day he defecated himself.” Screw Robin Williams! That’s my real-life hero, the professor who inspired me most to write, and whom I admire to this very day . I have never received a higher accolade than his grade of “Fucking Awesome” on one of my papers.