A few months ago, I picked up the movie, Dragon Wars, at a pawn store. We watched it. It was awful. The director, Hyung-rae Shim, owes me a dollar.
I didn’t have high hopes when I picked it up, but I figured that even if it wasn’t an overlooked Korean gem, like The Host, it might at least turn out to be the sort of monster throw-down that would entertain my ten-year-old son. Nope. He fell asleep. I imagine that this is the sort of movie people watch while they are undergoing a colonoscopy.
I didn’t want to just chuck it in the wastebasket though, nor did donating it to the thrift store seem like the right choice. My solution for getting rid of the DVD was inspired by the movie itself. While hiking with my son, I thought how funny it would be if someone stumbled onto the movie with a cryptic message affixed to it, making that person the “Chosen One” tasked with having to watch it.
My son and I finally got around to it last night. I wrote up the message, “Long ago, a prophecy spoke of one who would enjoy this movie. Many have tried and failed. Now, it is your destiny, and curse, to watch this video. Take it! It is yours. Are you the one who can sit through all 90 minutes of Dragon Wars?”
We were a little lazy with the placement and just left it near a movie rental kiosk where someone was sure to find it. We should have taken the time to put it somewhere out-of-the-way. I hope someone gets a laugh out of it, and maybe some fan of Uwe Boll films, Power Rangers cosplay, and Mortal Kombat sequels will get some enjoyment out of it. I would love to see the Chosen One idea catch on though in one sense or another.
In fact, an ancient prophecy once told of someone visiting this blog who would be inspired to take a crappy movie, or some other token article, and leave it with a note so that the Chosen One may unlock his or her destiny. Not that I’m encouraging littering or leaving suspicious packages in public places (it is tragic that our sense of play could ever be at odds with our sense of security). The world needs more absurdity and trivial humor based in the surreal, now more than ever.